


Computus Magicae

by whichstiel



Series: Season 12 Codas [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Coda, Gen, Google Maps, Magic, Mamma Mia - Freeform, Season/Series 12, Spellcasting, Technology, episode coda, smartphones, spn 12x02
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-21
Updated: 2016-10-21
Packaged: 2018-08-23 18:38:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8338408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whichstiel/pseuds/whichstiel
Summary: "It’s witchcraft, not Google Maps."Episode coda for "Mamma Mia".





	

**Or, that one time Rowena tried to scry with Google Maps**

Rowena has a disappearing pocket. She picked it up at a goblin market in Italy over two centuries ago. The market had been the usual jostling, rough affair of shouting vendors and hidden blades. Rowena sidled through, bored, when she noticed the pocket suspended above a tanner’s stall. The tanner parted with it for the price of a charm to command frogs and what that tanner had ever ended up doing with such a thing, Rowena never did find out.

The disappearing pocket was an exceedingly useful item for a witch who is fond of wearing clinging dresses and not much else. In that pocket Rowena keeps breath mints (you never know when you’ll meet a rich, handsome man - or, just a rich man), lipstick, an eyeshadow compact, a few spare hex bags (a lady shouldn’t go unarmed, after all), and a smartphone.

Most people who know her (and, granted, very few people survive the experience) would be surprised to learn that she possesses, much less carries around a phone.

She’ll admit it comes in handy from time to time. Like most people, she stores contact information on her phone (though her contact details often include helpful lists of blackmail possibilities). She maintains a detailed directory of magic shops and ingredient sources. (Rowena is an active user of Yelp.) Sometimes she lies in bed at night and searches the web for “controlling frogs why” before stowing her phone in the disappearing pocket, slipping on her sleep mask, and retiring for the evening.

Rowena uses her smartphone for a number of things, but she’ll never, ever, not in a million years use it in conjunction with magic ever again.

 

It all started when a dear, wee protégé (who is no longer among the living, poor dear) proposed finding a leprechaun. Leprechaun gold, aside from the obvious allure, has remarkable spellcasting properties. (Not to mention its aphrodisiac qualities.) Magical scholars have theorized that leprechaun gold serves as a power conduit between the _fae_ realm and earth. It’s ability to bind a spell to its target is unparalleled.

“It’s simple,” Mae said, clapping her hands together.

Rowena settled back in her chair, fingers idly playing with the stem of her wine glass. “Oh, aye,” she said. “Should be the easiest thing in the world. Capture the leprechaun. Get its gold.”

Mae pursed her lips. “Oh my god, Rowena. You’re such a pessimist. We can totally do this. _You_ can totally do this. I mean, the things you can do are…incredible!”

Rowena couldn’t help it. She basked in the praise. Aside from cannon fodder, this is why she kept around the students. “Well, that is true,” she conceded. Heaving a dramatic sigh, she said, “Ach, very well, dearie. Let’s give it a try, shall we?”

Scrying would be no good. Leprechauns (and the rest of the _fae_ , for that matter) were able to sidestep virtually any attempt to scry for them using a respectable means of tracking. So instead they tried the location spell first on a map of the United States that Mae had purchased at a gas station. The spell burned the map to cinders. Not in America, then. Rowena cursed Americans and their tendency to only buy maps of their own country. She made a mental note to have Mae purchase a bulk order of world maps online - proper maps to locate items and people worldwide. Now that she’d settled for a time in a luxurious manor house (the occupants rotting in the cellar until Mae got around to burying them) she might as well stock up.

Rowena kicked the table leg in frustration. Now that tracking a leprechaun was in her mind, she really didn’t feel like waiting - not even for overnight shipping. Her disappearing pocket slid around her hip and she straightened her spine, a wide smile breaking through her scowl. “Oh, why Mae. I’ve had the most delightful idea for a map.” She dug in her pocket and pulled out her phone.

“Your phone?” Mae wrinkled her nose.

“Aye, this mapping application will search near on everywhere and down to the teeniest square foot to boot.” Rowena chuckled and pulled open Google Maps, then laid her phone in the middle of the scrying circle chalked on the table.

The incantation flared and electricity instead of the usual fire arced over the screen. The map began to zoom wildly until… “There!” Rowena crowed triumphantly, jabbing her finger at her phone. A little red place marker pointed at a resort on an island in the Bahamas. “I’ll pack my swimsuit and we’ll be on our way, lass.”

Rowena had Mae pick up her phone and when her protégé wasn’t electrocuted, she locked it and put it back in her invisible pocket. They packed and headed for the Bahamas and Rowena didn’t give a second thought to her phone until she and Mae were sitting on a plane - first class, of course - and Mae pulled out her own phone.

Mae’s phone pinged at the same time as several other devices on the plane. A tablet one row over _blorped_ at its user. “What the-?” Mae frowned at her phone. Her mapping application had opened on its own accord; a red pin pegged the location of the airport they were at. “Uh, Rowena?”

Rowena rolled her eyes and pulled away her sleep mask. “Mae, dear, it’s difficult for me to get any rest when all you do is interrupt me.”

“Rowena, my phone…” Mae held up her phone to show Rowena the pin. “It just did this, like, automatically. And look.” She tapped the red pin and location information appeared on the bottom of the screen. _Rowena,_ it said. _3 stars_.

Rowena snatched the phone from Mae’s hand. “What in the hell is this?” Inside of her disappearing pocket, her own phone pinged and she dug it out and swiped open Maps. The cursed red pin was on her screen, too. Panicked now, she looked around. Other people were staring at their phones or computers, puzzled at the insistence of their mapping applications to point out the location of _Rowena_ , whatever that was. “Oh this is bad. This is very, very bad.” Location spells on paper just burned the paper but the spell must still be alive in her phone. Alive, and turning on her. A corner of her mind made a hasty list of her enemies, cross referencing that with how many of them might have access to computerized maps. “Bloody hell.” She thought fast.

Rowena leaped from her seat and tossed her phone to the aisle where she stomped on her screen as hard as she could with the sharp heel of her shoe. She smashed the phone until the display was fine powder and the phone died in a brief flicker of blue. Mae’s phone beeped again and Rowena looked at it, worried. To her relief she saw the pin had disappeared. They still had to get the hell out of here - good thing she was already on a plane. But the crisis appeared to have been averted. _Thanks to my quick thinking_ , she congratulated herself. 

A stewardess barreled down the aisle, clearly intent on putting the fear of God into Rowena. Rowena simpered at her and laid a finger of compulsion on her forearm to make her words ring true. “Ach, dearie. I’m so sorry for the commotion. You see, I knew I had to turn off my wee phone but it just wasn’t cooperating. There’s truly nothing to worry about here. My phone's off and everything is just fine.” The stewardess, confused but defused, nodded jerkily and turned to go. “That’s right, dearie. Back to work ye go.” Rowena shot a glare at the audience of other passengers and settled like a queen in her seat again.

“Well, that was a bit of an adventure, now wasn’t it?” Carefully, she placed her sleep mask back over her eyes and settled back against the seat. Her heart raced at the close call and didn’t slow again until they were in the air, flying at top speed far away from her last known location. She tssked. Three stars, indeed. She'd show them, whomever _they_ were. Nobody messed with Rowena. 


End file.
